In working with couples, my intention is to assist you in learning to listen to each other. At the same time, I will help you to discover the deep seated belief systems that you have been holding onto and that you have each brought with you into your committed relationship.
Everyone has these beliefs, which are typically rooted so deeply within us that we are generally unconscious of them. The more you address these beliefs, the healthier your relationship can be.
All relationships consist of a repeating cycle. In a partnership or any other type of relationship, I describe the pattern of this cycle as the following:
Active – Dormant – Active
This pattern repeats like a dance throughout our lifetimes, changing its pace and degree of challenge, depending on the rhythm and style of the song that is playing at the time. It exists in all of our relationships, regardless of whether it is between siblings, children and parents, friendships, or partnerships.
To illustrate this cycle, imagine a perennial plant. In the spring it peeps out of the ground, becoming active after having remained dormant during the entire course of the winter. The winter may not have seemed important for the plant, but it allowed it to rest and gather strength. This phase allows it to actively return, year after year. Throughout its lifetime, it will continually have an active, dormant, and active cycle.
The same can be said of our relationships. We have times in our relationships, when they’re on and when they’re not. These phases of the cycle are natural and allow us to be actively alive together, as well as to step back to rest to build up strength for the next active phase.
Just think about the current relationships in your life and you will find this to be true.
When I assist couples and families, we work together to understand these points in the life cycle of their relationship, and to identify and address their beliefs, which are driving them into each new phase of the relationship cycle. Once addressed, the healthier your relationship can be.
Let’s make an appointment today and get you started on the next healthy, active stage of your relationship.